And so as you know, Dear Readers, I've joined the rank and file of unemployed masses and finding a gig is makes me feel like a pig rooting for truffles in the dried out desert. My friend, Mary sent me a message asking if I would be amenable to a road trip. The following is a brief detail of places we encountered.
The Pioneer Saloon in Goodsprings, NV
It’s the oldest bar in Nevada, one of the few fully pressed tin structures still standing in these United States, and Clark Gable drank there, while waiting to hear news of Carol Lombard (his wife) after her plane crash (she died). If these three facts don’t impress you, have you seen their vagina? Yes, they have a vagina model that you can do shots out of. The Asshole Association knows what’s up! Tempting as it was, I did not try it. Instead, I had a Budweiser and a generous shot of Wild Turkey and shot the breeze with my friend, Mary and the bartender, Dee. Two beers and a shot were $10 total! You can’t get that in many places these days. I’m in the process of coercing my other half to hold our wedding reception there as out back it's got a horseshoe pit and some gorgeous bbq grills. It’s a great, liquid respite in the middle of the arid desert.
El Alteño Sports Bar in Los Angeles, CA (No website, just Google it!)
As we wandered about the galleries, noting the closed businesses, a reflection of these times, we walked past a place that was as big as a postage stamp with neon beer signs and darker than the abyss. This is one of the few places I’ve drank where the bartender actually knows what’s in a Greyhound. Hint: it’s NOT vodka and pink grapefruit juice. BEGIN PARENTHESES: I say this as a particular shout out to the petite, brunette bartender at downtown bar (note that they consider themselves a "cocktail room") in downtown Las Vegas who actually argued with me on it. I hate having to carry my Mr. Boston’s with me all the time. It takes up way too much room in my Buxton bag and I can’t fit more beer in it. Gin is what martinis and several, well known, great mixed drinks are made with. Don’t argue with me, sweetie. I’ve been drinking on this earth WAY longer than you’ve been bartending. If you can’t mix the drink correctly, go back to being a “promo girl.” END PARENTHESES. I digress. Alteño Sports Bar is the kind of place you want to spend all afternoon drinking at. Described to us by our awesome Swedish/Arab bartender, Jasmine as a “Mexican bar” it’s got a great smokers porch and the requisite scorpion clock. They’ve also got Peroni on tap and served in nicely chilled mugs and $3 Corona on certain days during the week. Trust me.
The Museum of Jurassic Technology, Los Angeles, CA
I KNEW IT! For a $5 donation, you can walk into Heaven! From an exhibit honoring the Dogs of the Soviet Space Program to exhibits on Sin Eating, this place is an exquisite jewel floating in a silicone sea. I was duly impressed with the exhibit on cat’s cradles and it’s significance in predicting the next crop yield. But none of those rocked my world like the exhibit on The Trailer Parks of Los Angeles County and the gorgeous dioramas (huh huh) therein. The whole history of the trailer park was on display from WWII era to today plus collections. The dioramas could be seen through oval cut wood and looked like they were movie models. The only thing that bothered me was the asshole “hipsters” that seemed to litter the place. If you can get through those worthless sheep without punching them in the backs of their heads, you will walk out of this place of “Lower Jurassic” education a completely different type of homo sapien.
Go HERE to Flock Flock Flock Every Day to see pics.
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